When viewing wedding albums of friends who’d been married for five years or more there’s usually one thing I immediately notice – Couples were much thinner on their Wedding Day.
Usually, both parties have gained weight but sometimes one person has gained considerably more than the other.
Why do couples, especially in their 30s, 40s and 50s, gain weight?
- Our metabolisms slow during middle age (35-55).
- Taking care of children and dealing with aging parents while maintaining careers often results in decreased physical activity. We don’t workout as much as we did during when we were fun-loving, carefree singles.
- Sometimes we experience health issues, such as Diabetes and hypothyroidism, that accompany middle-age and increase our chances for weight gain.
- Oh, and lasty… Oftentimes weight gain derives from sheer laziness and too much comfort. You’ve won the prize (your spouce) and feel protected by her/his unconditional love.
So, how much weight gain is too much?
And what about ‘Until death do us part?’ Should weight gain EVER be a condition for divorce?
Even when divorce isn’t a consideration, is it shallow for someone to complain about a partner’s extra pounds? And, is preventable significant weight gain totally disrespectful to a spouce who may not have signed up for that when they said ‘I do?’
“I’m of the opinion that, yes, extreme weight gain with no desire to remedy the situation is a good excuse to break up with someone, but not simply because of the weight gain,” wrote Medium.com writer Yari Diaz.
“The weight gain is often coupled with other characteristics or behaviors, or lack thereof and is often a dead giveaway that they don’t prioritize healthy behaviors.”
“If one person in the relationship prioritizes caring for themselves, maintaining an active lifestyle, eating in a balanced manner, it is hard to feel long-term compatibility with someone who does not hold the same values and interests.”
And in addition to a potential loss of attraction and the evolving differences in values and interests that are exposed, there are also health issues that come with astounding weight gain.
“If you’re looking for a long-term partnership, extreme, preventable weight gain is a conscious decision to create future health issues that your partner will then have to brunt the burden of,” added Diaz.
“So when we think of it that way, who is the selfish partner in the relationship?”
Again, we’re talking about significant aviodable weight gain, more than just 10 or 15 lbs or the typical ‘middle age spread.’.
Please share your thoughts below.